Nothing is Forever
by MojoBean13
Summary: When on the roof,Tessa agrees to Wills sleeping arrangements,but there is something he is hiding,something that goes deeper than she thinks,and she has to get to the bottom of it.Please R&R.I would like ideas and opinions from writers with experience.Thnx
1. Let's Not

Hey peeps! I love Cassy as much as the next person, but lets face it, we can't own her stories, otherwise we wouldn't be on fanfic. This is only my second story, the first one no one reviewed, so please R &R!

"'Perhaps,' he said,' we should discuss our arrangements, then.'

Tessa, still feeling as if she were drowning, whispered,' Arrangements?'

'If you are going to be staying,' he said,' It would be to our advantage to be discreet. It might perhaps be better to use your room. Jem tends to come in and out of mine as if he lives in the place, and he might be puzzled to find the door locked. Your quarters on the other hand-'"

But Tessa couldn't take the rambling anymore. She reached for the collar of his shirt and pulled him in for a kiss.

Tessa gasped as Will lifted her off her feet and carried her down the labyrinth of halls to his bedroom. As he closed the door behind her she took the brief second to look around at his room. It was of the finest in the institute, though it wasn't as if Will was the one who up-kept it, he left that job for Sophie, their once beautiful servant who was among the few people who had The Sight, and were able to see the Shadow World.

She looked back at him to find his beautiful, deep brown eyes searching her face, for what, she did not know. "What?"

"You are beautiful. The most beautiful in London, hell, the most beautiful in…"But she couldn't stand to be separated from him a moment longer. She released his grasp on her waist, forcing him to put her on the ground. He let go, but as soon as she hit the floor his hands were right back at it, exploring her body so intimately, it was all she could do to control herself. She pressed even closer to him, crushing herself into him in hopes that they could become one, and he suddenly lifted her up and onto his bed, their lips never leaving one another's the whole time.

She lifted her hands to undo the buttons on his shirt and when his fingers reached the buttons on her dress, his eyes searched hers for permission. Just as she was about to give into him, a wave of uncertainty washed over her. This was what she had wanted, but something wasn't right. Will seemed to sense her becoming reluctant and so he pulled away and looked her in the eye. "Is something the matter? Is this not what you wanted?"

"No, no it's nothing like that it's just…"

"Just what?" he urged her to finish the sentence, but she honestly didn't know what. So instead she replied, "I guess I'm just not ready for this, William, I'm sure you can understand." She searched his face for any clue as to what he was feeling, but got nothing.

"Well, then. I suppose we should head to the dining room. Supper, I'm sure is ready 'bout now." He stood up, and without another word left the room, expecting her to follow, and that's exactly what she did. The walk to the dining room was silent and Will looked as if something was deeply troubling him. She wanted to ask what was wrong, but decided better of it. Whatever it was, she was sure that if she brought it up, it would only make matters worse, so she just let him be angry. When they got to the giant doors that led to the dining area, Will stopped and turned to her. "Listen, Tessa. There's something I need to tell you."


	2. Tessa, I love you

Hey guys! I will not take it personally that only one person reviewed my story (thanks Team Jem Carstairs, I will remember you forever as the first and only person who reviewed my story. It really means a lot to me). Sorry it was so short, I promise that I will make them longer. Disclaimer: I don't own anything but my imagination.

Tessa's POV

"What do you need to tell me, Will?" She looked up into his face, expecting him to be angry with her, only to find him gazing at her in a way he had never done before. A way that could only be described as _dreamily_."Will, why are you looking at me like that? Are you not mad at me?"

"I…"he began, his voice growing hoarse. He cleared his throat and began again, looking more nervous than ever before. "Tessa, I love you." He looked away, looking everywhere, at the lanterns, the hundreds of stones that made up the wall, anywhere but at her. He avoided her gaze until she reached up and grabbed his chin, forcing him to look her in the eye. He stared at her with a look of pure love and just as he lifted his hand to cup her face, Jem walked out of the dining room and, averting his gaze, he cleared his throat and said, "Pardon me, but your supper is getting cold." With that he walked back in and they followed.

At the table, they sat in silence, Jem's eyes occasionally lingering on her, before quickly looking away, so quick that she wondered if she was imagining it. She decided to try to start a conversation. "So, Charlotte, thank you for letting me stay with you. I don't have anywhere else to go and you all have helped me through a lot. You make me feel… like I belong," she said, looking between Jem and Will. They both smiled at her until they realized that the gesture was meant for both of them, and they quickly looked away. Just then, Will abruptly pushed back his chair and said, "If you will all excuse me, I think Jem and I should have a quick chat." He smiled as if everything was fine when in reality it was anything but.

Jem's POV

Jem sat on the stairs of the institute, clearly not as bothered about Tessa as Will was. "Listen Jem," Will began, but Jem cut him off. "Will, I'm happy if she is happy, and you seem to be the cure to her unhappiness, so…"he stopped, unsure what to say next.

Jem loved Tessa, so much that it hurt, so much that he wanted to spend the remainder of his days with her, but if he couldn't have her, at least she was happy. "Jem, you are not _happy_. I know you want her as much as I, if not more. Plus you deserve far more than I do. I am not what you think. I am cruel and," he paused to take a deep shaky breath, and Jem scooted closer to Will and put his arm around his shoulder, "Listen, you are much better for her than I and you don't have very long." The last two words came out barely audible, and though it should have pained Jem to think about it, he had already accepted his fate long ago.

"I told her I loved her, you know."

"Well, should I be upset with you because of something you cannot help but feel?" Will looked at him hard, knowing Jem was indeed jealous, but Jem knew that in the end, it was Tessa's decision. Neither Will nor Jem could change that.

"She likes you better, as she should. You are so generous to her without even an effort, and I don't know the first thing about how to make myself happy, never mind a girl who I love with all my heart. Well, what's left of it." The last sentence was below a whisper, but just loud enough in the quiet streets of London to make out the words. He new there was nothing he could say would make Will feel any better, so he stayed quiet.

Jem looked around, unwilling to ask the question that had been begging to escape his mouth since he saw Tessa and Will in the hall. "Where will she be sleeping? Don't tell me you invited her to stay with you?" Jem gasped ever so slightly when he saw the glint in Will's eyes, that came and went so quickly that not many other's would of noticed, but Jem did. He put his head in his hands, stood up and walked away, not believing that Will could've been so selfish. The poor girl just lost everything she thought she would have forever, and she didn't even know _what_ to do, never mind _who_ to do. Will caught her in a time of weakness, and even though Jem truly didn't mind who she was with, he would love to feel her lips upon his. The thought of it just melting his insides. Jem heard Will shouting for him to wait up, but he just kept walking, not only out of anger though.

He couldn't stay mad at Will. He was the closest person he knew. He just needed to be alone for a while. And by alone, he meant with Tessa. No matter what she felt, he would only ever feel love towards her.

Jem walked as quickly as he could to Tessa's bedroom, _not _Will's, and as soon as he turned into her corridor, his heart began to race. What would he say to her? He didn't even know if she felt the same way. Just as he turned to leave, Tessa walked out of her room with a bag hanging over her shoulder. "Jem, hello."

He turned to look at her and he couldn't help but smile, his usual reaction to her. "Miss Grey, how nice to see you! I was wondering…"

Will came racing down the corridor then and said, "Tessa, I wanted to ask you…"

Tessa looked between the two and said, "Um, I think Jem here was about to ask me something." She looked at him, smiling, her gorgeous eyes looking into his as he said, "Well I was hoping we could talk alone."

"I was going to say the same thing to Will. Um…" She looked at Will expectantly and when he didn't say anything she said, " about the arrangements we made." She looked at Jem quickly before her eyes darted back to Will again. He just nodded and grabbed the bag she held and walked towards his room, briefly leaving Jem and Tessa alone.

"Tessa, I just wanted to say that you don't have to do anything you don't want to."

"Jem are you concerned?" He looked at her oddly and when she gave a small giggle he laughed as if it was the funniest thing he had ever heard.

Tessa's POV

Tessa didn't know how she felt. Confused, yes. Hurt, yes. In love, she was unsure. She had two gorgeous boys that would do anything for her. Will, sarcastic, sexy, and very mysterious. Jem, caring, beautiful, and also dying. She didn't know what she would do without him when he died. She gulped, nervous of what Will expected her to do. She stood in his bathroom, pacing. Will was on the other side of the door waiting for her to get out and into bed.

When she finally opened the door, Will wasn't on the bed where he was minutes before. He was gone.


	3. back this truck up, will has feelings?

Guess who's sick today? Me! I had time to write another story and this one should be longer than the others, so enjoy! Disclaimer: I don't own anything! It belongs to Cassie, sorry.

Tessa's POV

Tessa ran through the hallways, searching every room, and when she came out of her search with nothing, she ran to Jem, not caring that she was in her nightclothes. Just thinking of him made her feel better. Kind and understanding Jem, the only person she could think of who could actually make her feel better now that Nate was gone, for not even Will made her feel so secure, due to his sudden changes in behavior and feelings towards her. She didn't even knock before she barged into the room, and found Jem, looking out the window at what seemed like nothing.

He turned around, and he didn't seem at all surprised to find her in his room. He just looked at her for a moment, as if in a day dream, before saying. "Tessa, for what do I owe the pleasure?" His eyes skimmed her body, a questioning look in his gaze.

"Will's gone," was all she managed to get out before he gave a short, humorless laugh.

"You shouldn't be shocked. Will always _disappears _between the hours of _eight_ and _two_." He smiled then, and his into silver eyes stared into her gray ones. When he saw the look of fear in her eyes, he quickly stopped and in a few short strides was at her side, grasping her arm. "Tessa, what is the matter?"

"I…I'm afraid to be alone." She felt foolish, admitting this to a shadowhunter, but she continued before he could interrupt. "Ever since Mortmain showed up, I've been scared." She fought back the tears that were threatening to escape her eyes. "And ever since my brother betrayed me," she paused with a gasp of emotional pain, the first tear of many she had been holding back escaping, "It seems as though the only person I can rely on is you, James."

She buried her head in the crevice of his neck, not caring about the heaving sobs that she allowed to come out. He patted her back and whispered soothing things into her ear, encouraging her to cry as much as she wanted. Tessa pulled back, wiping at her wet eyes and said, " Thank you, Jem. Though I would love to stay and chat, I think it best for me to go off to bed." As she began to pull away, she felt Jem's hold on her tighten. She looked into his eyes, about to ask what he was doing, but his mesmerizing gaze held her in place, leaving her speechless.

Before she knew it, his lips met hers, or hers met his, though she was unsure. His hands gently caressed her back, pulling her towards him, and when she didn't protest, he deepened the kiss, his tongue sliding into her mouth. That one action was enough to make Tessa melt in his arms. She pressed her body close to his, running her hands through his silky silver hair and without meaning to, she bit his lower lip. She expected him to pull away, but he just moaned in delight. She didn't understand where this sudden burst of emotion came from, but she was sure enjoying it.

Jem's POV

When Tessa bit his lip, he felt his heart skip a beat. Oh, how he loved her, so! He could kiss her forever, and when she pulled him onto his bed, he pulled away and said, "Tessa, how would you feel if I allowed you to sleep in here tonight?"

"Jem, I don't know…"

"We won't do anything, at least nothing further than kissing if you don't want to, I assure you. I just thought that since you were afraid, you would like to have some company, someone to protect you." He tried hiding the hope in his eyes, his voice, his whole body for that matter, but he wasn't able to keep out all the longing. Besides, he really didn't want to have sex. If Tessa were a warlock, she wouldn't be able to have offspring, anyway. He could not believe how selfish he was being, but his whole body ached for Tessa. He loved her, but she did not love him, at least not nearly as much as he did her. He was surprised to hear himself thinking like that because he usually never did. But Tessa was different.

She nodded and looked away. As if reading her mind, Jem said, "Tessa, it's not as if Will and you are together." He cursed himself in his head at the look of pain that flashed over her face. Usually he would be shooing Tessa away from him and to Will's side, to save Tessa the agony of losing him, but he couldn't take it anymore. He laid back on his bed and stared at the ceiling for a while, before turning to face her directly, and seeing her staring at him with so much intensity, it made his heart ache."Goodnight, Tessie."

She rolled over making it so that her back was facing his front before whispering, "Goodnight, James." Those were the last words he heard before drifting off to sleep.

**Will's POV**

The time was 12:49 A.M. by the time Will walked up the institute's stairs. He had already put together his tale so that he would be believed. He had got drunk and made love to a homeless girl. Plain and simple, and, according to others, a tendency for Will, nothing out of the ordinary, when in reality, he was far from it. He was just good at acting like a stuck up snob that didn't care about anyone beside himself. He only made affection for Jem and Tessa evident, though he had tried his best to hide it, sometimes there is no way around love.

He peeked into the study, where he unsurprisingly found Charlotte sleeping with her head on her desk, and laughing a bit when he saw the drool coming out of her mouth. He pitied Charlotte. She worked her ass off, only to get snide remarks from the rude enclave men. The thought had his face turn into a scowl. Shaking the thought from his mind, he walked to the trunk that held blankets and tucked Charlotte in it as best he could without awakening her. Before leaving the room, he glanced back at Charlotte one last time before walking up to his room.

He quietly opened the door, not wanting to awaken Tessa, and was shocked to find the room empty. He threw on a clean pair of trousers, and walked to the library, expecting to find her there, and when she wasn't, he began to worry. He quickly walked down the corridor and up a flight of stairs to where Jem's room was, and as usual, walked in without knocking. He looked over at Jem and was surprised to see that he wasn't alone. Tessa was asleep on the bed next to him, and Jem was gently stroking her hair, making Will suddenly frustrated. Jem looked at him and raised a finger to his lips, the international signal for, _Be quiet_. Will's eyes were blazing and he loudly whispered, "What are you doing?" There was no hiding the anger in his voice. Right away, he regretted saying it.

"_You _had to sneak out again, and Tessa was afraid, and unlike you I was there for her! You should have known, or at least sympathized with her, but no, you have to act like nothing touches you, and when you left, for what reason I may never know, but when you left, you abandoned her. How do you expect her to trust you, never mind _love_ you, when, in a moment of weakness, you ditch her because you feel sorry for yourself? Because relationships don't work that way. You're either completely committed, or not at all, and I would hate to have you pick the second choice rather than the first, because if you ever hurt Tessa, I swear by the Angel…"

He stopped talking, leaving Will shocked. Jem had _never _spoken to him that way before. Now Jem's eyes were blazing, but Will's were sad and full of regret. "I never meant to hurt her. I…"

Jem interrupted him, and Will let him, because he knew that Jem was right. "Would you like to know what Tessa said to me?" It wasn't a rhetorical question, so Will waited in agony for a few second's, not really wanting to know what Tessa had said about him, but whatever it was, he would not hold it against her. "She said that since Nate has died, that I'm the _only one_ she can trust. Not you, not Charlotte 'nor Henry, or even Sophie, but _me_." Jem looked at him with such pain and, not hatred, but something like it. Will knew Jem wouldn't hate him, but it killed him inside to think about it.

Will thought Jem was done, but he began talking again, preventing Will from defending himself, though he didn't have a very good argument. "Get out of my room, William. I cannot finish this discussion right now. We don't want to wake Tessa now, do we?"

Will walked to the door, stumbling over his own two feet because of the tears that crowded his eyes. He looked back once more and the last thing he saw was Jem back to caressing Tessa's hair as if nothing just happened between the two of them, before collapsing a few feet away from the door, tears running down his face before he drifted off to sleep.

**So, how was it? Heh? Was it good/ bad or in between? Leave me reviews please. Criticism is really good and helpful! Okay, just wondering, has anyone else noticed how obvious it is that Tessa is a warlock? Think about it. She shows up in CoG, meaning that she lives forever, and in one of the TMI books, it mentions a spell book called The Gray book, which, HELLO is Tessa's last name! Anyways, that's what I think.**


	4. Jealousy and Love have no Capacity

**Sorry it's been so long! I have no excuse really other than I didn't have the patience to do it. Anyway, I'll try to make the chapters longer because I know they are shorter than other stories.**

Will awoke the next morning to find Tessa leaning over him, her luscious brown hair tickling his cheek. "What in the world are you doing out here, William?" Will's mouth quirked up at the sound of her gentle and curious voice. Will could count on her to brighten his mood, no matter his state of emotion; though he tried to hide it well, and hide it was what he did.

He squinted into her face and said, "Oh, nothing, just waiting for you to come out of Jem's bedroom. By the way, the next time you are planning to sleep with another boy, let me know so that I can go to The Devil's Tavern and get wasted to save me the pain." He actually didn't mind all that much that Tessa had gone to Jem, or at least he didn't mind as much as he should have; though he knew it would eventually happen. He looked up at her face, and when he saw her sad gray eyes looking at him, and hollow pit began to form in his stomach. He should've known not to say things like that, especially to Tessa. Words were one of the greatest weapons you have, he had learned.

Her expression went to one of confusion, to one of anger in an instant. "Coming from the likes of you! You went ahead and did that anyway, and might I add that you also abandoned me in your bedroom when you were the one who offered the idea in the first place."

"Well, Miss Gray, I rather thought I was giving you a boon, considering that most women would have loved to have been in my bedroom, alone or not." He regretted his words, as always. Tessa pulled herself away from him. When she stood tall and firm, he began to pick himself up, but as he raised his body onto his elbows; Tessa had put her foot on his chest. If he had been anything but a Shadowhunter, her strength would've most definitely have knocked the wind out of him.

Will was about to make a comment when Jem and all his silver glory stepped out of his room and glanced down to the floor. He gave Will a curious glance before reaching his arm out to Tessa. "Shall we head to the dining room now, Tessa?" She smiled a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes before taking his outstretched arm into hers and they walked down the corridor. About halfway down, not unexpectantly, Will might add, Jem turned his head and asked, "Are you going to be joining us, Will? Or would you prefer to lay outside my bedroom all day?" There was no humor in his voice, but Will still let out a small laugh that was barely audible. He stood and took as much time as he needed to catch up to Jem and Tessa. "Oh and Will?"

"Yes?"

"I think you and I should have a discussion. Later." Jem glanced at Tessa, who pretended to ignore their conversation. When he looked back at Will, he had a sort of fierce protectiveness in his eyes, one that couldn't be mistaken with anything but love, one that Will wished he could provide for Tessa, but knew that he couldn't. The thought of it angered him and his heart felt as if it were about to leap out of his chest.

***  
Tessa's POV**

Tessa was waiting outside of Jem's bedroom for Will to escort her to his bedroom, where she would try to stay once more, but she was uncertain of it. Night had fallen and the London streets had become less crowded, though there were still many stragglers, returning home from G-d knows where. Jem and Will had raised their voices more than once, but for the most part, their conversation was one of hushed and frustrated whispers, which she had no doubt was about her.

Then, all of a sudden, it was complete utter silence. Tessa raised her hand to knock, but as her hand reached the door, Will burst through it, face flustered and hand clenched in a fist. Tessa fell forward and Will reached out to steady her. She opened her mouth to thank him, but when she saw the tension in his shoulders, she immediately fell silent. He walked away and Tessa followed suit, not daring to say a word.

When they finally reached the room, Will collapsed on the bed. Tessa didn't know whether to stay or go, but she chose to leave. Will obviously had a lot of issues to work out. She turned to leave, but Will's sounded from behind her. "Where are you going, Tessie? Please don't leave?" It came out as a question, which rather surprised Tessa, especially coming from the usually confident Will. She didn't say anything, just walked to his bed and sat down gently, gathering her skirts, careful not to tear the hem.

His hands which moments before, covered his eyes, were now reaching for hers. He pulled her towards him, and she snuggled her head into his broad, muscular chest. He pulled away for a moment and as Tessa sat up to see what was the matter, his lips met hers. She kissed him back harshly, their lips moving together in unison. She pulled herself up on her elbows, trying to get as close to Will as she could. Tessa all of a sudden froze, feeling a wall of wrongness erase any longing she had to kiss Will at that moment. He must have sensed her tensing up because he pulled away. "What's wrong, Tessie?"

"Why do you keep _calling_ me that?" She asked with a sort of hushed cry.

Will looked at her, as confused by her words as she was. "I'm sorry, I lo…"

Knowing what he was going to say- I love you- she immediately interrupted him. "Never mind that. I'm tired so… let's go to bed." She looked into his eyes, not wanting to offend him, but also not wanting to touch him until she sorted out her feelings.

"A…alright. All right then. Goodnight Tessa." He was obviously trying to hide his hurt. She could tell not only from his voice, but also at the look of pain that flashed across his eyes. He leaned forward to kiss her hand, but she had already turned around. He still put his arm around her though, and even though she didn't want to kiss Will, she didn't mind snuggling into his body. The last thing she heard before drifting off to sleep was the soft whisper of Will's voice saying, "I love you." She couldn't quite put her finger on it, but, his voice sounded almost… scared. But was he afraid to love her or was it something else completely?

**Okay, so I was going to make this chapter longer, but I just wanted to post it after so long. The next chapter will be up in 3 days at the latest.**


	5. Wasted Will

**Will's POV **

_Will looked down the seemingly endless corridor, his heart beating faster than he could ever recall, because it rarely beat this fast, because of his Shadow hunter abilities. "Will?" _

_His head shot up at the sound of her voice, for it was a sound he would recognize anywhere. Cecily. "Cecily, is…is that really you?" He stared into her hazel eyes, taking in her tan skin and dirty blonde hair. She was wearing a forest green gown with a tight bodice with yellow lacing crisscrossing in the front. Other than that, the dress was rather plain._

_Instead of getting a response, she waved her hand, indicating for Will to follow. Without a thought, he ran after her. He turned down the corridor she had disappeared down, and thought he had lost her. "Shit," he cursed under his breath, but then he saw a flash of her green skirts. Once again, he was off like a shot. He turned yet another hallway, not quite sure where he was going, but following his instincts._

_He turned the final corner before stopping short at a single door, wide open, allowing whoever wanted to enter, to do so if they pleased. He slowly approached the door, taking a thin knife out of his pocket. He gently pushed the door open even wider, and what he saw made him scream. "Cecily, watch out!" A demon came out from behind her, green poison foaming at its mouth._

_Will expected the girl to move away, but she just stood, glued to place, just like she did before, except this time, an evil grin was spread across her face. She looked down, her curls falling into her face. Will noticed something he hadn't noticed before. Cecily had a box in her hands; not just any box though. The Pyxis. Not realizing what she was going to do before it was to late, Will hollered "Cecily, NO!"_

_But, it was already too late. She had opened it. A Litobora demon jumped out of the box and immediately stuck its fine stinger into the middle of her chest. Will tried to scream, but it was of no use. Cecily was dead, and once again it was his fault. All his fault._

**Tessa's POV**

Tessa awoke to the sound of Will's screams. The pitch black London sky indicated that it was still nighttime or at the most, early morning. "Cecily, NO!" he screamed. His legs were tangled in his sheets from all his tossing and turning. Then he started gasping for air. The sweat beading is forehead started becoming visible, and Tessa felt his head to check if he had a fever.

Pulling her hand away, she leaned over him and shook his whole body. "Will!" she exclaimed. "For Gods-sake, Will, wake up!" Silence. She peered into his face, fearing for the worst but, no, his eyes were now wide open and he stared straight ahead, not really looking at anything. After a moment of waiting, Tessa gathered enough nerve to ask, "Will, are you alright?" She had said it so quietly that she thought he hadn't heard, so she began again. "Will…"

He then sat up and untangled his legs from his blankets. With his knees being cradled against his chest, he looked almost childish. Tessa waited for him to say something, and after waiting for almost ten minutes, she didn't think she was getting a response, so she started making her way to the door. Halfway there, Tessa turned once more. "Will, who's Cecily?"

He looked her directly in the eyes, the first time he had even acknowledged her presence, but he gave no answer. Just sat there, arms hugging his knees so tightly that his veins were bulging out of his skin, the way the prince's always did in her fairytale novels. But Will was no fairytale prince. He may have looked like one, but he was far from being one, unlike Jem, who would be fit for the role of a prince.

Tessa turned to leave for the last time, but found Will blocking her path. "Where do you think you're going, Tessa?" Anger seemed to seep through his pores, causing a chill to go up Tessa's spine.

"I…" She began, but she really didn't have an answer. "I don't know."

He pulled her against him, hugging her so tightly that she could barely breath. She gasped, "Will…"

"Don't go to Jem," This time it wasn't anger covering his voice, but a devious _humor _. "He may love you _better_, but I love you _more_. I love you like I never thought I could love someone ever again. I love you…"

"Will you're scaring me…"

"What's the matter Tessie? You're big brother Nate not 'ere to protect you from me? Never liked the lad much, I must say. _I _think that I am, or was, quite more attractive than 'im, if I do say so myself." He was beginning to let his accent slide into his voice, something, she thought he only did when he was angry.

Then she thought about what he said. She turned to face him, and with all her might she slapped him across the face, leaving a red handprint on the side of his face. He shook his head, as if snapping out of a daydream, and lifted his hand to his face. "Tessa, I…"

"Oh, you've said enough already, Mr. Herondale." At that, she left a surprised Will standing in his bedroom. She stepped outside the door and looked back. What she saw shocked her. Will was on the floor, his hand reaching out to her, not crying, but a look of great pain was expressed clearly on his face. Tessa didn't understand why he was so sad. After all, he was the one who had been rude to her, not she to him. Not knowing what else to do, she walked to her old bedroom as if in a dream, as if she woke up, she would be back in her New York apartment sipping tea with Aunt and dancing around with Nate, though she knew it was a life she could never, ever return to.


	6. Announcement

Hey everybody! I updated the last two chapters in one day. I was on a roll. However, I wanted to get your opinion before I write anything else. Who should Tessa choose, Jem or Will? That is the only thing I haven't figured out about the story. Who should she choose? I don't know how to set up a poll, so please just leave comments. Thanks!

Love, MojoBean13


	7. Eavesdropping, anybody?

**Sorry it took me so long to update! My laptop broke. But then my mom fixed it! But, then it broke again, and yes it's still broken. So it may take longer to update than usual, but I'll try my best! Also, even though it seems no one has noticed it, in the first chapter, I accidently said that Will's eyes were brown and I apologize for that.**

Tessa hadn't a clue as to where she was going, but she didn't care. She just wanted to get as far away from Will as she could. Without realizing it, she had made her way to the library. She gazed up at the large wooden doors, putting all her strength into pushing them open.

Tessa was still amazed at how many books crowded the rounded walls of the library. She looked around in amazement, eager to lose herself in one of the many novels that the institute carried.

As she took a step towards one of the shelves, she heard Charlottes voice from behind one of the shelves. "They've," her voice cracked, but she cleared her throat and began again. "They've found her body."

"Will won't take this news very well, no doubt." His silky voice held both sorrow and pity. She wondered who's body the shadow hunters had found and why Will would care more or less than the others. After all, he was the one who had left his family to join the shadow hunters, so he was supposed to be prepared for death. She was about to announce her presence when Jem said, "Is there a pattern in the murders?" She paused, shocked, and waited to hear Charlotte's answer. There was more than one murder?

"Well, yes and no." There was no response, so Tessa guessed that Jem was waiting for her to elaborate.

When it seemed that she wasn't going to say anything else, Jem asked, "What is that supposed to mean?" not rudely, but rather curious.

Charlotte hesitated then said, "Cecily was the only… in her condition, but the other victims were all the same age, all dark hair, all hazel eyes. It seems as if it is after the entire Herondale family."

On the last word her voice cracked. Tessa heard movement, and then Jem's soft voice. "Charlotte, please don't cry. It's okay. But, Charlotte you have to tell me. Did some of the victims… look like Will?"

"Yes." Tessa heard a muffled sound then more sobbing. "And I'm still unsure of how all of this connects to Tessa. My guess would be that Mortmain is their killer, but what does that _mean_? How does it connect to Tessa?" Tessa didn't want to hear anymore.

Tessa turned to leave but when Tessa reached for door knob, the door sprang open and Henry came dashing in. Tessa fell backwards and a surprised sound escaped her. When Henry realized that he'd knocked her down, he looked down with a horrified expression. "Miss Gray, I…"

"No, it's okay, really," she said, trying to ease him before anyone noticed but it was already too late.

As Henry helped her up, Charlotte and Jem rounded the bookcase, smiling at the sight of her, but quickly after, fading, realizing that Tessa had probably heard something she shouldn't have heard.

"Tessa!" Charlotte exclaimed, trying to sound happy but her voice was tinged with unease. "What are you doing?"

"Oh, I…um, I was bored and decided to come here in search of a book." Tessa forced a smile which seemed to calm Charlotte a little bit.

Before the conversation could get anymore awkward, Jem said, "Charlotte, Henry, why don't you go on to bed. I'll show Tessa out and see to it that she gets to her room safely." He smiled and both shadow hunters left.

Jem waited a few seconds before he said anything. "How have you been, Ms. Gray?"

"Jem, don't call me that. You know me well enough to call me Tessa by now."

"Ah, yes. Your name. Theresa, isn't it? Theresa is a beautiful name." He looked wistful for a moment, staring off into the distance. When he looked back at her, his eyes were full of fear and regret."Tessa, why don't we just forget anything happened between us? I don't want to force you into anything you don't want to do. I believe that anything and everything is possible, so I want you to take every chance you have and make life you own. You can do anything you want." He paused then said," I care about you. I really do, and I want you to be happy. Besides, if you grow close to me, then it would just be another goodbye to add to my already too long list and…"

"Jem, don't you say that. Don't you ever dare say that." Her voice started to shake and tears threatened to escape her eyes, but she forged ahead. "If you had asked me, I would've thought I was already on that list, and I would like to keep it that way. And, who knows there may be a cure…" She stopped talking, an idea forming in her mind. "There may be a cure," she whispered. The words filled her with hope. "Jem, if we could…"

"Tessa, please, there is no cure. I would hate it for you to waste your life to look for something. Its hopeless." Tessa had so much going on in her life right now. Questions filled her brain like, _what does Mortmain want with me? What do Will and I have to do with a bunch of murders? Who is Cecily? Does Will hate me? What is going on between Jem, Will and I? _And more, but Tessa didn't care. She saw hope in it.

"Don't be a hypocrite."

"What?" He said puzzled.

"You _just _said that you believe _anything _and _everything_ is possible. So why not believe in this one thing? Why not take a chance? There are so many people that depend on you for so much!"

"No, there really is not."

"What about me? What about Will? What about the shadow hunters and all of humanity? You risk your life constantly, so why not try to save yourself for others?" She realized she was being selfish, but she really didn't care about that at the moment.

His face softened and he reached his hand to touch her face, but she turned before he could say anything else. Tessa knew there was a cure and she was going to find it.


	8. Please Stop

Tessa wasn't sure when or how she reached her room, but when she did, she'd collapsed on her bed and had fallen asleep. This was not what she'd planned on doing, but she was exhausted.

When she awoke, it was not by a noise or anything of the likes of it. She was awoken by a feeling. A feeling of being watched. Tessa looked around the room, cold and empty other than the dresser, in which held her few possessions and the four poster bed that she lay upon. Her heart beat frantically, although she did not recall nightmares of any kind, as she peered into the dark gloom of the room. Pulling her blankets up around her, Tessa said, "Who goes there?" Barely loud enough for even herself to hear, but loud enough to get a whispered response, one that she knew all too well.

"There's my Tessie. It's your big brother, of course, here to rescue you like I always have." There was a hint of laughter in his voice, something that never would have been there if he'd never left New York. Oh, how she'd wished he hadn't. She wouldn't have met any of the Shadowhunters, yet she couldn't help but think that it could've been for the best.

"Nathaniel, I think it would be in your best interest to leave the Institute's grounds before someone finds you. I would hate to have to turn you in, but if I must…"

"tessie, you would never-"

"Oh, Nate, you'd be surprised what I would do at this point in my life."

"But, I have protected you your whole life, can you not find it within a the depths of your heart to allow me the leisure of your trust?"

"Nate, you have NOT protected me my whole life, rather I'VE protected YOU! You go off with your gambling alcoholic friends, wasting away your life away with any prostitute you can find on the street! How could you ever betray me the way you have? I truly cannot-"she paused, at a loss of words, "I cannot understand how someone I entrusted with my whole being could just forget of my feelings the way you did, as if I was nothing but a pest you couldn't wait to have executed!"

He stared at her, not knowing what to say. Wait no. He… was he actually laughing at her? Incredulous, Tessa stood up. "What could _possibly _be funny now, Nathaniel?"

"Nothing, it's just I couldn't help but be reminded at what a little bitch you are-" He took a step toward, grabbing the hair from the back of her head and tugging it hard enough for a few strands to fall to the ground like the feathers of an angel…

"Nate, ow you're hurting me! Please, stop! Please… stop." She sounded defeated, and she hated it.

"Tessie!" called Will. "Are you alright in there? I heard a shout, so I just wanted to check and see if you're OK." Nate pulled her hair tighter, causing her to bite her lip hard enough to draw blood.

She refused to answer. She hoped that Will would suspect something was up, but instead, he continued on in a boyish voice she would have found cute if she weren't angry at him, and if Nate's grasp wasn't hard enough to knock an elephant over. " Listen… Tessa, I'm sorry about earlier. Really, that wasn't me. Please, talk to me."

And Nate pulled tighter still, a silent threat that was ready to kill. But even with Nate ready to snap her neck if she got out of line, she screamed.


	9. Cold

**I know this is a short chapter, but I kind of like posting short ones more frequently because I feel like I'm getting more done and this chapter I just had to end the way I did, so enjoy!**

Will burst into the room at the sound of Tessa's shrill scream, only to find her alone and shivering on the cold dank floor that was accustomed with the London Institute. He took a moment to take in his surroundings: the opened window, with its long red velvet curtains billowing with the wind that came through the window, chilling Will to the bone; Tessa, her nightgown spread around her like a parachute, and her eyes were big and wet from fresh tears, looked like a terrified child. Her eyes trailed slowly over to him and the moment she saw her lip quiver, he was at her side.

"Tessa, what has happened?" and before he could stop it, he had forgiven her. He shouldn't have been angry at her in the first place, but he was, but now he wasn't. He realized that he would forgive her of anything if it meant that he could be with her until the day he died.

And it scared him. He shouldn't be doing this. He couldn't make her think he cared, although he hadn't done a very good job of that by confessing his love for her so randomly and right after he'd asked to bed her. At least she may have thought the gesture was only so he could get what he wanted, but he also hoped she would know of his feelings. Will was so lost in thought that he hadn't realized that Tessa had pulled away from him. "Leave this room at this instant, or I swear to you I will give Mortmain what he wants."

Ouch. That hurt a bit. He could bite ten times as hard, if only he convinced himself it was to make her not love him. His rashness had reasoning, he could tell himself. "Oh, go ahead, turn yourself in, and see if maybe somebody will care. My life would be so much less burdensome without you here to throw me off. If it weren't for you dropping all of your silly hints, I could have been at a brothel by now, having the best se- "

"William! Can you not see that I need to be alone right now?" A tear fell.

And he didn't know what to do.


	10. apology to the readers

Oh my fucking god I am sorry for the last chapter. I downloaded the wrong thing lol. That was a convo I had on omegle with a really awesome person who likes tofu and wants to adopt 1000 asian children with me and smoke weed and make sandwiches for all eternity. I'll download the real thing tomorrow lmao XD.


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